Sunday. Being unemployed means the weekends aren't as grand as they used to be. Sunday for me is another day that I grab the paper and search endlessly for some glimmer of hope, that all is not lost. But at the moment its just a long day. It's hot in this damn house. The a/c's been on the fritz all damn summer. It has to be 90 in our bedroom. And even in the basement I am sweating my ass off. Today is lost on me. I just want to get the fuck outta here and drive far, far away. I need music and some scenery to lift my soul. Instead I have been wrestling a baby gate for the cat that the damn dogs can get through, thinking about all my damn dirty room and how I have no space for anything. I've been moping around all day with this horrible feeling in my gut and tears that just well up mysteriously in my eyes. It's a glorious day. Can't 
someone just shoot me now? Ugh.
My damn I-pod is upstairs and since I don't want to wake up Dustin I am politely pissed and sitting here bitching to my blog. I talked to my mom for a few minutes. I am the busiest unemployed person. Somehow even though I have nothing to do, I can still never manage to do the things I want or need to. I have a list of shit that could span the rest of time. And still nothing is done. I have such high hopes, and yet I am completely unmotivated to do anything. I am such a winner. lol
Sigh.
I wonder what some of the other billions of people are doing at this moment. I am wondering what Dustin is dreaming about upstairs. What my mom is thinking at this moment. Are people walking through the park, holding hands? Is someone screaming loudly and dancing around their living room? Sleeping in a chair? Reading a book? What are they listening to? What are they thinking? I am so tired of thinking about my life, and sometimes it would be nice to just take a break and see how someone else is doing. Maybe I would learn something.
For now I think I am just going to settle for a cigarette and the blue sky. Who knows, maybe the world will open up and answer all my questions. Or not.
Sunday. Being unemployed means the weekends aren't as grand as they used to be. Sunday for me is another day that I grab the paper and search endlessly for some glimmer of hope, that all is not lost. But at the moment its just a long day. It's hot in this damn house. The a/c's been on the fritz all damn summer. It has to be 90 in our bedroom. And even in the basement I am sweating my ass off. Today is lost on me. I just want to get the fuck outta here and drive far, far away. I need music and some scenery to lift my soul. Instead I have been wrestling a baby gate for the cat that the damn dogs can get through, thinking about all my damn dirty room and how I have no space for anything. I've been moping around all day with this horrible feeling in my gut and tears that just well up mysteriously in my eyes. It's a glorious day. Can't 
someone just shoot me now? Ugh. 
0 comments:
Post a Comment