You would think that since my wonderful employer decided to fire me, that I would find more 
time to blog enjoy my time off to search for a more fulfilling job... but alas, it is not so. Instead I have been sick and trying to take care of a sick animal. We decided to get the cat fixed and have her declawed. Let me tell you, I had no idea how horrible declawing a cat was. If I had I never would have put my sweet kitty through all the pain. She is recovering nicely but good grief. Top that off with me being ill and oh what a fun time I am having. I did finally get cleared by my doctor. He said that they did the pathology on the part of my cervix they cut off and they got all the cells that they found during the colposcopy, so it was a success. Basically now we are just wait and hoping they don't come back like last time. So I am praying and wishing and hoping for the best. I have to go back in 3 months, like before and just keep doing what I am doing. I am going to be 28 this year and everyone I know already has a family and I am still dreaming and waiting. Things are not getting easier, my health is still suffering, and I can't get it under control when there are so many things going wrong. I have people that know absolutely nothing trying to give me their 2 cents about my health when they don't ever know a single thing about it. But you know how people can be. It just makes everything more difficult. This whole thing with being fired and trying to figure out how to pay for all the medical debt that I have just recently incurred and trying to figure out how to find a job when I don't have a car, its all just very scary. I am losing all hope that I will ever be a mom, and that I will ever see a single dream realized. Oh what a ball of 
joy I am. Really. I actually also found out that a good friend of mine has thyroid cancer and is trying to come to terms with it. Health is not something that is my friend by any means so I know how difficult it can be to comprehend and move forward with something so uncertain and complex weighing on your mind 24-7, but she also has the added worry with her 2 kids. Which is something I can only imagine and something I know has to be very frightening. I have every bit of faith in her that no matter what the out come she will be on top. She is a strong fighter and being a mother makes her 10 times as strong as she could evcr be alone. I just hope she can remember that in her time of need.
time to blog enjoy my time off to search for a more fulfilling job... but alas, it is not so. Instead I have been sick and trying to take care of a sick animal. We decided to get the cat fixed and have her declawed. Let me tell you, I had no idea how horrible declawing a cat was. If I had I never would have put my sweet kitty through all the pain. She is recovering nicely but good grief. Top that off with me being ill and oh what a fun time I am having. I did finally get cleared by my doctor. He said that they did the pathology on the part of my cervix they cut off and they got all the cells that they found during the colposcopy, so it was a success. Basically now we are just wait and hoping they don't come back like last time. So I am praying and wishing and hoping for the best. I have to go back in 3 months, like before and just keep doing what I am doing. I am going to be 28 this year and everyone I know already has a family and I am still dreaming and waiting. Things are not getting easier, my health is still suffering, and I can't get it under control when there are so many things going wrong. I have people that know absolutely nothing trying to give me their 2 cents about my health when they don't ever know a single thing about it. But you know how people can be. It just makes everything more difficult. This whole thing with being fired and trying to figure out how to pay for all the medical debt that I have just recently incurred and trying to figure out how to find a job when I don't have a car, its all just very scary. I am losing all hope that I will ever be a mom, and that I will ever see a single dream realized. Oh what a ball of 
joy I am. Really. I actually also found out that a good friend of mine has thyroid cancer and is trying to come to terms with it. Health is not something that is my friend by any means so I know how difficult it can be to comprehend and move forward with something so uncertain and complex weighing on your mind 24-7, but she also has the added worry with her 2 kids. Which is something I can only imagine and something I know has to be very frightening. I have every bit of faith in her that no matter what the out come she will be on top. She is a strong fighter and being a mother makes her 10 times as strong as she could evcr be alone. I just hope she can remember that in her time of need. After all this time I still haven't come up with a way to make it through those days when the 
world seems to be coming down on me. So I have no wise words or mood altering words of motivation that I can offer to anyone, let alone myself. If it wasn't for my mother I think I more likely would never make it through. So could my advise be turn to your mother for support and understanding since no one else in the world seems to? I have been through so many ups and downs that I can't remember how I got through, just that I somehow survived. I guess we all basically go through it all alone, trying to be strong and brave, we hide the fear, pain, and doubt 
from everyone we love as if we can somehow shield them from it all. LOL Maybe I can pass along my optimistic outlook. HA! I really don't believe in luck but its probably because if I did I would have the worst of it. Whomever cursed me for all time...well you got your wish. Ahh. I don't know. I am just not one to be offer words of wisdom, words of hope, or encouragement to anyone. I have nothing to give anyone right now. Not even myself.
world seems to be coming down on me. So I have no wise words or mood altering words of motivation that I can offer to anyone, let alone myself. If it wasn't for my mother I think I more likely would never make it through. So could my advise be turn to your mother for support and understanding since no one else in the world seems to? I have been through so many ups and downs that I can't remember how I got through, just that I somehow survived. I guess we all basically go through it all alone, trying to be strong and brave, we hide the fear, pain, and doubt 
from everyone we love as if we can somehow shield them from it all. LOL Maybe I can pass along my optimistic outlook. HA! I really don't believe in luck but its probably because if I did I would have the worst of it. Whomever cursed me for all time...well you got your wish. Ahh. I don't know. I am just not one to be offer words of wisdom, words of hope, or encouragement to anyone. I have nothing to give anyone right now. Not even myself. 
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