Potluck

Last night Dustin and I went and had dinner with Doug and a few of his friends and colleagues. It was a ton of fun. I have to say it is so nice and refreshing to get out and meet new people. Ever since I got with Richard almost 11 years ago everything about me changed. I realize everyone changes but a lot about me changed. Almost everything in fact. I got lost in him and our relationship and it is taking me a very long time to bounce back from that. It sounds funny but its true. I used to have a ton of friends. I love people. I enjoy meeting new people and through the years somehow I became a sort of recluse. I am 26 years old and I am just now actually seeing the person that I really am. I wish I had taken the time to listen to my heart and to get to know myself before but I have to say, its nice to remember how much you actually enjoy yourself. I don't mean that in a conceited way. I just mean after spending all this time listening to other people and worrying about not being good enough, not liking myself, not being happy with myself, it is really nice to finally be seeing myself in a different light. I'm not scared of feeling things, of being me, or how I look or what I wear and say. I am finally coming to terms with who I am and I like me. Whatever mistakes I have made are mine to make, who I love/loved, what I like or hate, everything I do and have done, has made me who I am and I think that's great. And I think it makes me appreciate everyone else a whole lot more. I love my friends and I love all their habits and quirks. In some way everyone has enriched my life and its nice to see that and appreciate it.

Tonight I am going with Margie to Amanda's Passions Party which should be a lot of fun. I am excited. Tomorrow night Dustin and I taking our mothers out to dinner. It's the first time we have ever gotten them together other than when my mother came to give her condolences to their family when his grandfather pasted away. I don't know why I am a little nervous but I am. Is that weird? I love his mom and I know my mom loves him but its just a little weird to me and I don't know why. Oh well, I am sure it will be fine. I am just being silly.

Well I just wanted to share and stuff.

I will write more tomorrow!