Feeling a pull

Today I feel anxious. It's like something is pulling at me from within. I can't quite put my finger on it. The rain is putitng me in a introspective mood. I had to bring out the Shins and Aqualung early this morning, I had my candles lit at 10am to bring in all the fall scents that warm my soul. Nothing seems to cut it though, it just isn't enough. I am wanting hot cocoa, coffee and tea and I can not quench this thrist. I put in Brand New a little bit ago and still I am wanting more. I have a little over an hour left till I get to call it quits for the day and it seems like forever. The week went by really quickly and usually that puts me in a good mood but today I aching like I have a fever but can not figuer out what it is I need.

So what do you do on days like this?

I write a little. Nothing good. Nothing important or anything, really.


She's beneath, me
Regretful and scorned
She completes, me.
Yet leaves me battered and torn
Her banter can bore me
But it soothes my soul
Her hate fuels my desires,
She's the salt in my tears,
The sting in the pain.
Without her I appreciate nothing
In this world so cold and mean.
She ties together my life
One web of lies at a time.
only she can build or break me
She's the girl I dream to be.
She pushes and pushes me
till it hurts to bad to breath.
She hates all I am and all I stand for
and yet she is me.

I write and I read my book. I sip cocoa and I wait for work to end. Tomorrow I will spend the morning lost in the sheets, with the blanket over my head.





Last night Dustin, Alex, Margie and I got together and watched America's Next Top Model and turned my studio into a karoke bar. We sang songs we really shouldn't sing, I found I can sometimes sound decent. Imagine that. We had a great time just being goobers, which is all I ever want to be. And I decided what I want for my birthday is a Karoke machine. I plan on having a fabu time that Saturday after my birthday belting out tunes with all my close friends. Is there a better birthday .... last years 80's party was pretty fly.... but this will be hella cool too!

Tonight we are going to head over to Jenny and Wind's to watch Grey's Anatomy and ER. I can't believe it's time for them to begin already. *I DO MY FALL DANCE* Give me leaves that can paint the sky, give me the chill inthe air and pumpkin pie. If I ever get married again it will be in fall, under the cool autumn sky. *sign*


Tomorrow is Friday and I love my days off. I will hop on tomorrow sometime and catch up with everyone.

Have a great Thursday!