Passing Time and Reflecting

Ugh. It's only 11:14 am. I thought I would get on here and pass sometime. Not much is going on today. I had one of my older tenants come in and talk for a half hour or so and Al my shampooer came in and let me know I have another one ready to go, other than that I have been doing alot of sitting around and waiting. I think tomorrow is going to be my day off. I need to sleep in a little or something. Still, it's going to suck that Dustin has to work all night. Tonight I think I am going to watch a few movies and hope for something good on TV. Somehow I doubt it, but we shall see.


I talked to Richard yesterday for a little while. He got to go to Arizona and see the Grand Canyon, which he sounded very excited by. He said he was planning on going to Vegas this summe rbut since he bought a car he didn't think that was going to be feesible. He faxed my my insurance card so that here in the next couple of months I can get my own insurance on the car. He almost has all the paperwork filled out for the divorce. He apparently just needs to get some finacial information from me. But once that is done we can send it in. I can't believe I am going to a 25 year old divorcee. Weird huh? Well I think so. After everything it really does feel weird. I mean after having him in my life for so long, and him being such a huge part of it, it's just very weird that now, we are. . . well, I dunno. All I know is that it's weird. I know that I have changed. Most of it occured over a period of time but really I still feel the same. I don't regret leaving Columbia or leaving Richard. But I do regret the way it all happened. I think I was too harsh about things. Yes I would have done things differently, but the results would have been the same. I look back at the way I felt back then and it scares me. Richard is an extremely intellegent and funny guy. He is very loving and has a lot to offer Stephanie or whomever he chooses. I think he will make some gilr very happy in life and I think he will be very successful in his endevors. But him and I were very testy with each other. There was no patience, no understanding. We didn't mesh well. And I fully believe money played a part. Like it or not, I knew what I got into and I still couldn't deal. And I don't blame him. I just think we projected our fear, hurt, worry, and anger towards each other. And with me having no one to act as a buffer it all just mounted. The anger and hatred I felt for him in the beginning was unbelieveable. I tried to be as honest and understanding as possible but my anger clouded everything. I loved him, but I needed time. And he never listened to me so that didn't help. Well whatever happened I hope he knows that I wish him the best, and I honestly hope we keep in touch. Altough I don't know how he feel about that. We are different people now though. It's funny, how easily I can see that. We are definately much more grown up. Maybe that was the problem, we were two very young minded people caught in a grown up relationship. Whatever it was I am happy that we are both in a better place than we were. And that is what matters.

Wow look a me rambleing on. Geez. I am hooked on this song that I am sure many people have heard , James Blunt - Beautiful. Its such a simple sweet song. I am in love with it. I watched Prime last night with Uma Thurman. It was very funny and I loved the ending. It wasn't your typical romantic comedy ending. I don't want to spoil the movie if you haven't seen it but the James Blunt - Beautiful song really should have been in that movie. It would have fit beautifully. Well I have kille as much time as I can, and rambled on for quite a while so I think I should go ahead and end it here. Maybe if I can think of more things to say I will post again later. Lord knows I have nothing else to do.

Later