Where's the rain? Where is the thunder and the lightning to drownd out my screams? I had such high hopes for today. Instead it's just a good day to sleep the night away. Friday means nothing. It's a bad bad day. 
Happy Birthday Dad.
I went and peed in the cup for the job. Then came home and called my mom to see if she wanted to go to dinner with me tonight, since its my dads birthday. I thought maybe it would be nice for her and I to get away for the night. Enjoy each others company and while we did. Our anger and grief and utter miserable moods overtook our mexican dinner. And our Margarita's. Jesse got caught shoplifting at Sears. They didn't take him to jail, but next time they will. He is 17 and he keeps acting like he is soo grown up but then he pulls this shit and proves that all he is, is a dumb ass kid who understands nothing and thinks he knows everything. I am soo frustrated with him. Nothing ever gets better. It is just as my mother says, its a glimpse of the beautiful light and then it is ripped away. Its a shimmer in the dark. I miss it. I miss the light, the warmth and the pureness. I am tired of having everything I touch turn into shit. Ugh!
Well I don't know what else to say. My heads running 400 miles per second and all of it I just wish would go away. I am making a cd and then I am taking it up to my room, jumping in the shower then laying in bed. I'm pulling up the covers, crying until the tears just won't come anymore and then I will sleep. And I hope I never wake up.
Happy Birthday Dad.
I went and peed in the cup for the job. Then came home and called my mom to see if she wanted to go to dinner with me tonight, since its my dads birthday. I thought maybe it would be nice for her and I to get away for the night. Enjoy each others company and while we did. Our anger and grief and utter miserable moods overtook our mexican dinner. And our Margarita's. Jesse got caught shoplifting at Sears. They didn't take him to jail, but next time they will. He is 17 and he keeps acting like he is soo grown up but then he pulls this shit and proves that all he is, is a dumb ass kid who understands nothing and thinks he knows everything. I am soo frustrated with him. Nothing ever gets better. It is just as my mother says, its a glimpse of the beautiful light and then it is ripped away. Its a shimmer in the dark. I miss it. I miss the light, the warmth and the pureness. I am tired of having everything I touch turn into shit. Ugh!
Well I don't know what else to say. My heads running 400 miles per second and all of it I just wish would go away. I am making a cd and then I am taking it up to my room, jumping in the shower then laying in bed. I'm pulling up the covers, crying until the tears just won't come anymore and then I will sleep. And I hope I never wake up. 
0 comments:
Post a Comment